Easy FAKE Oven
by Patchcat
Summary: Various one-shots, ficlets, and drabbles following the antics and high jinx of the members of the 27th precincts.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Roundabout

Rating: G

Written for: The LiveJournal community fanfic_bakeoff's "catch" theme

Warnings: None

Characters/Pairings: Dee, Bikky

Word Count: 569

Disclaimed: I do not own these characters. They are the property of Sanami Matoh and anyone she has sold legal rights to. I'm just like messing with them.

Notes: Hello and welcome to the Easy FAKE Oven! This is the start of a collection of FAKE shorts and one-shots (because I sometimes just can't Shut. Up!) that were written for the challenge community fanfic_bakeoff that don't fit in any of the other possible places I have stewing for them. Today, I have two offerings, neither of them burned or crispy. XD

~*~*~*~*~*~

Roundabout

~*~*~*~*~*~

Bright green eyes widened in shock and just stared at the boy standing in the middle of his living room. Had he really heard what he thought he'd just heard? Seriously. Dee Laytner was not one to be caught off-guard by monkey brats, and monkey brats just did _not_ come to him and offer the information that he would be out and Ryo home alone tomorrow night for free. Shaking his head and poking a finger in his ear to make sure it was clear, Dee blinked and said, "I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?"

"I _said_," Bikky responded irritably, fidgeting with his ball cap, "that Carol and I are going to see that chick flick she's been bothering me about and then she's going to drag me shopping for her aunt's birthday. We'll be out all day and Ryo will be home alone. Geeze, pervert! Clean out your freaking ears already!"

For a moment, elation filled Dee. A whole day without the brat coming in and attacking him; a whole day to do everything he could to just be close to Ryo. What could possibly be better than that? A lecherous grin stretched across him face as thoughts of what he could do to his shy partner danced in his head. Those thoughts came to a screeching halt, however, as something else occurred to him. Monkey brats did not just off this kind of information freely.

"Okay, brat," he said, pulling out his wallet. "What's this gonna cost me?"

Bikky eyed the cash Dee pulled out longingly, but then visibly shook himself. "It's not going to cost you, idiot."

"All right, then." Dee's eyes narrowed, and he crossed his arms on his chest. "Then what's the catch? You gonna come in and break things up just when they're getting interesting or somethin'?"

Bikky growled and pulled distractedly at the blond hair sticking through his cap. "Geeze! I'm giving you your precious 'alone time', you damned perv. Just say 'thank you' and appreciate it! Damn! Why's there always gotten be an ulterior motive with you?"

Dee blinked very slowly and stared at Bikky. Something was _definitely_ up. "You can't kid a kidder, Biks. What's really going on? You're usually trying to keep me _away_ from Ryo. Why the change of heart?"

Bikky hemmed and Bikky hawed, but in the end Bikky explained, "Look. You haven't been around much lately. I know you and Ryo are on different shifts and stuff, but – I dunno. Ryo's been really…down lately. I think he misses you." There was more fidgeting, and Dee didn't have to look very hard to see the concern reflected in Bikky's eyes. "I don't know why, but for some reason he likes having your perverted ass around. Will you just go and cheer him up already?!"

Dee tried very hard to suppress the smile that streaked across his face. He really did. In the end, though, it managed to get away from him. Reaching out with a snort, he flipped off the cap and ruffled Bikky's blond hair. Bikky batted at his hand, muttering something about "snanky pervs" and leaned down to retrieve his hat. "Just do it! Before I change my mind!"

Holding his hands up in surrender, Dee gave in. "Okay, okay. I'll go." Dee's eyes softened as he watched the boy walk out his door. _Guess I have the monkey brat's blessing after all_. "Thanks, B."


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Always Be

Rating: PG-13

Written for: The Live Journal community fanfic_bakeoff's "catch" theme

Warnings: Mentions of sex

Characters/Pairings: Ryo/Dee

Word Count: 300

Disclaimed: I do not own these characters. They are property of Sanami Matoh and any she may have sold legal rights to. I'm just borrowing them for a bit. ^_~

~*~*~*~*~

Always Be

~*~*~*~*~

Cool moonlight slants across my partner's sleeping face, and I'm relieved to see him finally at peace. This case was hard on both of us, but I think it probably hit Dee hardest. Anything with orphans usually does. He's a lot more empathic than he's willing to admit, but that's one of the things I love about him.

We made love slowly tonight, just gentle caresses and slow, burning touches. It felt like we were learning each others' bodies for the first time all over again. Dee's been known to stretch things out just because he can, but tonight his touch was almost desperate. I reach out and gently brush black hair away from his closed eyes. He sighs and leans a little into my touch, a soft smile crossing those sculpted lips.

He looks much more peaceful than he did when he first came to see me this evening. There was a lot of pain in those bright green eyes. I'm glad, suddenly, that I could do something to help ease that, even a little. Sex is sometimes a comfort thing with Dee, and there have been times when he's been afraid to reach out for it. Afraid that I'll think he's using me. It's bullshit, and I've called him on it a time or two, just like he has for me.

That's what relationships are all about, though, right? Being there for each other, sharing the burdens? I know that Dee will always be there to catch me if I stumble and start to fall. It's nights like this -- when he's tender and gentle, when he whispers of love and devotion as he's buried deep inside me -- that I know he feels the same way, and I know that this is how it will always be.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Random Affections

Rating: PG (? Maybe?)

Written for: fanfic_bakeoff's "token" secret ingredient theme with bonus ingredient of all dialogue

Words: 300 on the nosey! XD

Summary: Dee-brand affection at its finest.

Pairing: Dee/Ryo

Disclaimed: I don't own FAKE or any of its characters. They belong to one Sanami Matoh and anyone she may have sold the legal rights to. I'm just playing with them for a bit.

Notes: It's probably safe to assume that this is set after the end of the seventh volume. The Bakeoff's bonus ingredient was "dialogue 'fics." I've never written one before. Not sure that I'll ever do it again. All dialogue makes me twitchy. O.o

**Random Affection  
**

"What is that?"

"Flowers for my sweetie?"

"Uh-huh. What are you up to, Dee?"

"Ryo, I'm hurt! Can't a guy give his hard-working partner a token of his affection without being interrogated?"

"Hm. Know what? No."

"Aw, c'mon, dude! It's just flowers. No ulterior motives, I swear. (Well, maybe one or two, but hey, a guy's gotta try.)"

"Uh-huh. Su - What. Is. _That_?"

"Ummm..."

"Dee, that's a - a - Oh God, I can't even say it!"

"You know, you're really cute when you blush like that."

"..."

"Oh, wow! I had no idea a human being could actually turn _maroon! _ Bwahahahahahaha! Ow! Damn it, Ryo!"

"Go ahead and laugh, jackass. Just get that - thing - out of here!"

"I'm sorry. Get rid of _what_, exactly?"

"That - that - _thing_!"

"Hmmmm, still dunno what yer talkin' about, dude. You're gonna have to be more specific."

"COCKRING, damn it! That COCKRING needs to get off of my desk right n - Mmmmmmmmm..."

"...You said 'cockring'."

"Grrr! Dee, repeat after me: I will not pounce my partner! (You'd be surprised what you'd get if you'd just _ask..._) Now get to work!"

"..."

"Dee! Work. Now!"

"Oh, no, dude. You are _crazy_ if you think I'm just lettin' that one go."

"Don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh. Why you blushin', then?"

"..."

"So?"

"So, what?"

"You. Me. Kiss?"

"Will you get back to work if I say 'yes'?"

"Hmmmm... Sure. Whatever."

"Deeeee!"

"Okay, okay! I'll work if you let me kiss you."

"O-Okay."

"Yay - !"

"Mmmmmmm..."

"...You know, I never get tired of that look."

"Damn it, Dee! You've had your kiss! Now get back to work!"

"Fine, fine. Here's me, working."

...

..

.

"Hey, Dee?"

"Yeah?"

"Your kisses are better than flowers."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"...And the cockring?"

"Grrrrrrr!"

"Ow! Damn violent bastard!"


End file.
